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Rivkah רִבְקָה

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Introduction [Oct. 26th, 2016|04:41 pm]
Welcome! You've stumbled across the blog/livejournal of Rivkah. I am the artist/writer/creator (ie. graphic novelist) of the TOKYOPOP series Steady Beat (amongst other short stories, works, and contributions). Steady Beat is a 13+ series for teenage girls and boys about coming to terms with our place in life, our families and communities, and the people we love for being who they are rather than whom we expect them to be. It's about growing up and discovering ourselves. I am also working on an all-ages series, but that one's top secret, so I can't say too much about it for now!

Contained within these pages are entries of my personal journey as I manage the daily struggles and joys of being an artist and writer for a living. It's possible! But it takes a lot of hard work and dedication. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I leap for joy. And I hope that whatever you get from my sharing these experiences is something you can take and use in your own life. For inspiration. As a springboard to follow your own dreams.

I try to keep all posts at a PG level, but anything that goes above (such as my sketches from life drawing) go behind a cut.

Feel free to take a walk through my gallery. However, I don't update the website very often, so all the new artwork you'll find mostly on this blog.

And please, feel free to introduce yourself and to friend me. There's a lot of publish-sensitive content and original ideas under the friends-cuts you can't see otherwise!!! And I like when people say 'hi.' I'm horrible about getting back to emails but it certainly makes my day to read them!

Cheerio!

-Rivkah 10-26-2006
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Age? [Apr. 10th, 2008|03:52 pm]
[mood | curious]

I'm in the process of gestating an idea for an essay to post here, and I've become gripped by the curiosity to know the ages of my readers. I've screened posts so that answers can't be viewed by anybody but myself (because I view things like age, gender, location, etc as sensitive issues I'd rather keep away from the prying eyes of web and spam bots alike).

For those who don't mind my knowing, what is your age? I'll assume you've read at least a portion of this blog if you're responding ;) but if you've also read "Steady Beat" as well, please state so.

The essay's about the ages of protagonists in entertainment and the actual maturity level of readers and/or viewers.
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Post: When to Start. When to Quit. [Apr. 7th, 2008|06:17 pm]


Megan Rose Gedris* asks:

"Your latest posts about living on artist wages got me thinking. At what point do you give up the day job and rely completely on making comics for a living?

I've been doing comics in my spare time, between juggling two part time jobs. I've had modest success with a couple of these projects. I'm at a point now where I think I could take off with my comics, if I just had more time to work on them. But then again, with as hard as jobs are to come by here, I'm afraid if I quit my job, and fail at comics, I won't have a job to come back to. How did you do it? (This is also me assuming you had a day job at one point and didn't jump to instant success soon as you graduated from high school**. Which would be cool, too.)

But yeah, at what point does it make sense for an artist to quit their day job?"



It's always been my personal belief that you should never leave a steady job until after you have paying freelance work on the table. When I wrote Pink and started the webcomic version of Steady Beat, neither of which were paying at the time, I had two full time jobs: one managing the art department for a catalog mail order company and the other helping to run my publishing company. When I flew to Los Angeles to pitch my series idea to Tokyopop, I still had both jobs, and it wasn't until after I had signed the contract and sent it back that I walked out of the 9-5 job. I quit the very next day, in fact.

But even then, I wasn't completely dependent and able to support myself. Midway through book 1, I moved in with my parents so that I could work on my book without worry of being out on the streets for fear of not getting a check in on time . . . and since three checks were three months late, that was probably the best move I ever made.

Now that I'm living on my own with nobody to fall back on, things are different. Not only do I have my contract with Tokyopop, but I've taken on freelance work as well, and for three months, I was even working part-time at a cafe because it had been so long since I had extra cash in my pocket, and I seriously needed some clothes that weren't worn to death and made me feel good about myself (high self esteem = high productivity, IMHO).

There are several things you need to ask yourself before leaving your full-time job for freelance creative work:

1) Have you saved up enough money to live off of for at least three months? That's sort of a general rule of thumb when it comes to finance, and something that'll save your butt more times than you can count. Clients pay late. Projects take up more time than you anticipated. Checks get lost in the mail or misplaced or mis-sent (have had this happen four times now). Some people neglect to pay at all (which is why I insist either in being payed at least 10% up front or being payed in milestones). Sometimes, the unexpected happens and you find you have far less cash than you anticipated. So save before you quit.

2) You should have work lined up already and started. It's one thing to have somebody tell you, "We're interested in you doind such and such for us," and having a contract signed and ready. A contract is set in stone; you WILL get paid eventually. Promises however can be taken away. In fact, I get lots of promises about projects that never follow through. I've learned to ignore projects as real work until I have the first check in hand.

3) You have to be willing to chuck pride out the window and take a menial, part-time job if you have to. Whether it's waiting tables or washing cars, you have to ignore the fact you were once brand manager at NIKE and suck it up that you're now making as much as you were in college or high school. Once you've committed to doing freelance work full-time, you won't be able to go back to the 9-5 without having to give the majority of your work up. Neither will you ever be able to find a high-paying job that offers part-time work.

4) Are you driven? As in, does it feel like somebody lit a fire under you're butt, and now you're running towards your goal? This must be destiny. You can't do this half-assed. Your work must consume you.

One think you do not want to do is quit your job because you feel like you won't improve unless you do. If you're driven enough, you'll find a way to keep getting better, even with the 9-5 (as soul draining as the 9-5 is). It may not feel like you're improving fast enough or getting out what you consider the best of your efforts, but if you don't have the passion enough to really push through in what is probably the toughest of circumstances in which to be creative, you will very likely not make it.

That is the harsh reality. All too often I've met people who did just that--quit good-paying jobs because they felt like it would help their work and get jobs--only to sit around for months doing nothing. Time dashes by, and before you know it, you're out of cash and not a freelance job in sight. AND you've given up that great paying 9-5 job you were actually somewhat enjoying!

So, think about it a long time. Be honest with yourself. Are you quitting because you have to or quitting because you want to?

Ciao,
Rivkah


***

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*reprinted with permission

**definitely not, lol! Took me three years just to figure out what I wanted to even do.

***Yeay! Art! Practice sketches from photo reference. Been drawing kids dancing. Been practicing expressions, as well, but haven't scanned those yet. It feels so good to be drawing again! *sob*

****Photoshop CS3 rocks my socks off.
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[Apr. 3rd, 2008|08:00 pm]
[mood | ecstatic]

*happy dance*happy dance*happy dance*happy dance*happy dance*happy dance*happy dance*happy dance*happy dance*happy dance*happy dance*happy dance*happy dance*happy dance*happy dance*happy dance*happy dance*happy dance*happy dance*happy dance*happy dance*happy dance*happy dance*happy dance*happy dance*happy dance*happy dance*happy dance*happy dance*happy dance*happy dance*happy dance*happy dance*happy dance*happy dance*happy dance*happy dance*happy dance*happy dance*happy dance*happy dance*happy dance*happy dance*

YEAY!
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Jane's S.O.S. - Book 1: The Inward Tree or The White Tower [Apr. 3rd, 2008|07:17 pm]
So let it be written! So let it be DONE!

It began with a simple illustration, a spark of an idea, that expanded to seven pages, the start of a book, to an outline, to a draft, to edit after edit after edit and some more edits. And finally:

DONE. 94,398 words. Done!

There've been character and setting and concept sketches. Whole chapters have been written that will never be seen. Perhaps more words have written on where this thing is going than the length of the book itself (because I intend for this to be three, possibly four books). I even made test pages for the graphic novels I intend to create from this as well. The characters aren't just alive, they're alive, drawn on the page exactly as I envision them in my head.

And I feel like I've just been taken off a drug. I am overwhelmed with relief. My hands are shaking. My heart feels as though I've just run to my house and back. I waver between feelings of tears and laughter, verging on the hysterical. I want to go out into the street and sing and dance its done. Delirious with joy and relief.

I know I still have to find a publisher, but that wasn't my goal. My goal was to WRITE it. A child has sprung, fully formed, from my head and onto the paper. It's absolutely magical. Now, I suddenly understand how G*d must feel for us, his/her very own creations.

And yes, this is different from "Steady Beat". I can't explain how. It just is. I've never felt so wholly and completely that I've put my very best down and that I'm happy, I'm happy with it, that it reflects every single thing that I hold most dear.

*sobs into keyboard*

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What? No Zombies? [Apr. 3rd, 2008|02:36 pm]
On the last few pages of edits and got to this:

Jane felt that she drifted in a dream. Warm, untainted sunlight fell across her cheeks. Fresh, clean sheets were tucked beneath her shoulders. A pillow was propped beneath her head. Cool air caressed her brow.

And was very, very tempted to insert "Thank goodness! It was all a dream!", purely for the sake of preserving the fine trade of over-used cop-out endings that never see the light of day. Maybe I can work in a coma, some vampires and zombies, and throw in a few gay pirates as well?

No?

Well . . . it was worth a shot. Can't say I didn't think about it. ;)
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Twenty Pages! [Apr. 1st, 2008|03:40 pm]
TWENTY PAGES! TWENTY PAGES! I know I'm procrastinating just by posting this (and my previous entry as well), but: TWENTY PAGES!

*sobs tears of joy*

I finished the first rough draft of this children's novel back in May, but I've been stuck editing ever since. I've gone through it several times, but I shelved it for four months in order to work on the Applied Materials project (which is apparently in print right now, meaning eventually I'll get to actually talk about it, ha). When I came back and read through it through, I realized just how long this final edit was going to take.

But I didn't realize how excruciating it would be.

Currently at 93,700 words. Up from the bare 63,000 is started at (and it really was bare bones, btw).

TWENTY MORE PAGES! And it's DONE!

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!


. . . now to stop distracting myself. *little happy dance* Back to work!
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Grown-up Manga, Organization [Apr. 1st, 2008|02:37 pm]
I get teased a lot for the content of my bookshelves, made up mostly of young adult novels, children's books, and tons and tons of shoujo manga. There's some physics books, a lot of Jeannette Winterson and Murata Murakami, and a load of classics sprinkled about, but all the bright pink spines can be a bit difficult to miss.

The other day, I was flipping through some of the shoujo manga I used to read, however, and I realized something: I don't read shoujo anymore. I mean, I have a few favorites still: "Peach Girl", "His & Her Circumstances", and occasionally I'll pick up and reread "Sailor Moon" for nostalgia's sake. But in general, what I've been following lately have been titles aimed at a more adult audience.

Now first, let's make a distinction. There is a difference between adult and mature. If you see a label that says "mature content" that means erotica, porn, not for toddlers' eyes. But in my eyes, adult implies simply: "Kids can read this, but it's about grown ups, for grownups, so they may not appreciate it as much." Unfortunately, the age ratings imposed on the backs of 5.5" x 7" graphic novels don't make that distinction.

I still believe that instead of using vague terms such as "13+", "18+", "all ages", etc, that rely on whether or not there's a nipple showing to determine the rating, such graphic novels should be labeled the same way regular books are: "childrens", "young adult", and "adult" with varying degrees for "historical", "travel", "cooking", etc, in between, and categorized in distinct groups as well, ie: all under the same section of "graphic novels" but with separate shelf groupings.

Perhaps then I wouldn't have to browse through close to 5,000 volumes of manga every time I go to the comic book store just to find something I like.

To me, what the graphic novel industry currently lacks that books have down pat is organization. It's certainly far, far improved over what it was ten years ago, and with the introduction of POS (point of sale) machines and bar codes, I can only see it getting better. Yet, there is still no way to pick one genre from another without having to flip through just about every book on the shelves. Several publishers have managed imprints (such as Viz), which at the very least helps, but they're still categorized on the end shelf with everything else (and its mother) in the end.

Back to the grown-up stuff. And I don't mean porn. I mean books like "Buddha", "Ode to Kirihito", "Tramps Like US", "To Terra", "Eagle". I love history. I love slice of life. I love politics. But where would I go in the comic book store to look for similar? I THINK they exist, but I don't know for sure. I could do a search online, but that means leaving the store, having to write things down, relying on it actually being there, etc. Pain in the ass. Might as well order through Amazon (which I won't, for the record). And there's no guarantee even Amazon has it right anyway. Look up "political manga", and up comes a motley of titles, most with absolutely nothing to do with politics and a few historical ones. "Eagle" isn't even on the list (though funny enough, "Steady Beat" IS, ha!). And there should be a veritible deluge of indy titles.

The question I ask is this: Is it just the lack of distinct organization that's made it so I'm only currently following one title ("Nana" which I consider more josei than shoujo because of grown-up content and the age of the characters) because I can't find anything else to read anymore? Or does it also have to do with what seems to still be very little published outside the realms of shoujo, shonen, cleavage, and spandex? Not that there's anything wrong with them. Quite the opposite, in fact. Every segment and every niche serves its purpose.

But where are the titles like "Tramps Like Us"? I for one would sing the praises of any publisher who can start taking a serious look at more well-written josei titles (non-anthology) and seinen titles that aren't in the realm of the fantastic. Slice-of-life stories, you know? With relatable characters and relatable circumstances. I still enjoy fantasy, but for some reason, I've always found slice-of-life stories more appealing in the visual medium than the written.

(Why that is, I have yet to figure out, being a devout fan of the fantastic when it comes to the written novel . . . you'd think it would be opposite . . . ?)

Titles I would like to see in the US would be more "Tramps Like Us" type series, but also histories or gentle vignette-type series like "Record of a Yokohama Shopping Trip". Just . . . the kind of stuff you don't typically see on shelves. There's always a niche waiting to be filled. That's how many publishers survive: you find a niche like "scuba diving" or "underwater basket weaving" stick to it, do it well, and reap the rewards.

If I had a financial backer, heck I'd do it myself. I've run a publishing company. I have the contacts and way too many friends in PR. But artist's wages don't necessarily make for good credit. Perhaps someday. ;) After I'm done with this children's series. (TWENTY PAGES LEFT TO EDIT! WHOOOOOOOOO!)

In the meantime, perhaps there's a petition we could start? Leave a list of "grown-up" and alternative titles you would like to see licensed in the US. It's a long shot, but maybe at least somebody is listening.



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For the record, this post is entirely about manga. I'd like to see more home-brewed titles like this as well, but I already have faith they're on their way. :) :) :) Or already here. Craig Thompson is love. XD XD XD
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And in other news . . . [Apr. 1st, 2008|01:32 am]
[mood | excited]

I am going to be doing a graphic novel workshop at the ACT Girl's Conference on Saturday, April 12, at 3:25 pm. One of my good friends will be doing a film workshop right before. The conference is open to guys as well, but its focus is on empowering girls and women in the community, だけど . . . . Their website states:

"The Annual Conference For The Spiritual Transformation of Women and girls will include inspirational talks and practical workshops. There will be two programs running side by side, one for women and the other for young girls ages 10-15. The purpose of this conference is to gather women and girls together so that they may realize their unique spiritual station in the family and in society. Through recognition of their inner strength, they can be a source of enlightenment to each other, learn from each other's experiences, and share information about spiritual healing of mind, body and soul."

Registration is $40 for girls ages 10-15 and $75 for women. It will be held at St. Edwards University, Ragsdale Center, from 8:30 am to 5:30 pm. It is an interfaith event.

If you live in the Austin area and would like to join, please do!
--------------------------------------------------------------------

ACT Mission Statement:
ACT Women (Advancing Community through Women), is an independent non-profit organization with the primary mission of educating, encouraging and empowering women to become agents of change using spiritual tools.

This will ultimately help in advancing communities world-wide. The ACT Women are also dedicated to empowering and encouraging women, that they may overcome any fears and apprehensions that hinder them from growing spiritually. This group has been in operation since 1996.

Spiritual education is the key to the transformation of women as they accelerate their contribution to society. Through such education, women will develop their sense of worth, self- assurance, creativity and courage.

The role of women in society must always be viewed in the light of the oneness of humanity. Principles and actions which strengthen the bonds uniting the human race will, in turn, advance the position of women.
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Honey & Clover! [Mar. 31st, 2008|06:08 pm]
Johanna over at Comics Worth Reading has pointed out that Honey & Clover by Chica Umino is available now from Viz, and I just wanted to pass the word along. I remember watching the anime several years ago and enjoying it immensely. The main premise is how a group of art college students make friends, survive, and find careers in their fields of choice, and it's a touching, heartwarming story of the shoujo and josei variety . . . but without being burried under a mountain of pretty boys and girls who do nothing but throw sparkle and flower-strewn love stares at each other.

In all, the anime series started off kind of slow, and the lolita-type relationship with Hagumi (the eighteen year old on the cover) is sort of creepy, but it's the male lead, Takemoto, who really draws you in. He's just your average art student--not really a genius, but not all that bad either--who's just trying to find his place in the world. Hagumi, on the other hand, is an artistic genius, and I believe it's what everybody really falls in love with. It's a story about finding yourself amidst the burden of other people's expectations and just learning to relax and let life take you where it will. Something I think we could all use to learn, sometimes.

On that note, I haven't gotten the chance to actually pick up the manga yet (having just heard that it's out now), but I'm hoping that it's at least as good as the anime was because with Tramps Like Us and E.S. finished, the only series I'm currently reading is Nana. Every month I keep an eye out for new titles, but honestly what's out right now seems to be all the same storylines I've seen a few hundred times before, told in the same ways I've seen a hundred times before. Also, except for "Fool's Gold", all my favorite OEL series have ended as well (or really close to ending). What has the world come to? ;_; I want more college-age and grown-up titles, and less cleavage on my covers when I do!

Oy veh.
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Living on a creative income (continued). [Mar. 27th, 2008|05:20 pm]
Just thought of some extra tips for living on a beginning artist's wage:


-If you can, move to a city or location that's easily traveled by foot, bike, or bus. Getting rid of my car was the best move I ever made . . . as much as I suffered psychologically from the lack in the first several months. Not only have a saved money and prevented unnecessary expenses such as gas and insurance bills, but the health benefits have been phenomenal: I have muscles man from all the biking up and down hills I do, and my metabolism has never been higher, plus my lung capacity is better than it was when I still played flute. On the flip side, I now eat a lot more to make up for it. -_-;

-Find one thing to splurge on every now and then and stick to it to prevent you from splurging on anything else (you'll go crazy without SOMETHING to distract your mind every now and then). For me, it's books. Every so often when I have extra cash on hand that isn't going towards future bills, I go out and buy a new teen lit or Murata Murakami novel. But I've also cut out renting or buying or going out to see movies.

-Second-hand vintage clothing. I've set a limit on pretty much anything I buy, and it has to be below twenty bucks (goal: $10). If you have an average kind of shape, there's a lot of really neat, cheap clothes out there for you. Maybe that's why my closet now looks like it belonged to a 50's housewife. :P Retro is in.

-Hone your craft. Don't leave it up to chance to sell your work for you. If your stuff isn't doing well now, then that may be saying something. You have your whole life ahead of you, so why not challenge yourself? Take life drawing and creative writing classes. Some of them are cheaper than you might expect. Best site I was ever recommended was this (praises to Svet for a million years to come). Best art instruction book I ever read was this. Find out what it is to be you.

-Socialize. No seriously. You're stuck on your butt all day, cramped over a desk, your back and neck muscles seizing up, and your mind in high gear. I've learned over time there's a real need for nice extroverted activities no matter how introverted you may seem. I started going to Ruhi and talking to people at the coffee shops and the comic store I frequent. You may even find a lot of business opportunities popping up because of these associations. :)

-Business cards. The one expense you'll never regret. I had a set of full-color double-sided 2500 printed over three years ago for $35, and while they're finally running low, I can't count the number of business contacts I've kept in touch with because of them. However . . . don't get glossy. You might find you need to write on them at some point. Glossy was a baaaaaaad choice on my part. -_-; I've used http://www.4over.com/ on a number of full color projects and found their printing quite lovely for the price listing. Note: you have to be registered as an actual business (ie. have a DBA) to do business with them.

-DEFEAT THE IMPULSE BUY!! I know I've already mentioned this, but thought I'd kick it home again. You DO NOT NEED that soda or candy or shiny new gadget winking temptingly at you from the impulse aisle. I know. It's only 85 cents. So what? That 85 cents that you could be putting toward nice, healthy choices. Even so yeah, I admit . . . every month or so I splurge and get a little debbie. The master of the impulse buy is not perfect . . . yet. ;d

-Zencast.org Go. Meditate. Be free. You'll find it easier to concentrate and the all-pervasive message to spend, spend, spend less obnoxious this way.

-Live in a high-income city with high rent? Or live in a low-income city with low rent? Many of my friends live in places like Los Angeles and New York where it seems to be easier to make contacts and find jobs, but feedback on this would be appreciated. Do you think it's as easy to make the rent? Worth it for the atmosphere? As for myself, I live in something of a mid-income, mid-rent city. My apartment's barely 550 square feet, and I pay $650 for the rent (not including utilities which run another hundred), and it's in a nice part of town with everything in walking or biking distance and on several major bus routes. But making business contacts here is also a bit hit or miss. There are no large groups of comics creators here (though a few small groups still getting started out) or businesses that offer similar type freelance jobs. However, it seems there ARE a number of companies that keep files of artist (such as GSD&M) to refer to on appropriate projects for illustration work, at least. Honestly, however, I've exerted the majority of my time and energy into finding longer working projects. The majority of "side" work I've found has been through word of mouth.

-Don't keep a credit card. Because I've always believed you should never spend what you don't have. Otherwise we wouldn't be having this house mortgage and economic crisis right now, would we? But that's more IMHO. I'd far rather be making enough some day to pay for that house in cash, and if I remain frugal enough, that'll be completely possible.

-Time is money. Yes, that convention may seem appealing. Yes, you might make some money after all the expenses have been deducted, but what about all the time you spent preparing? The time spent afterwards sick in bed (if you're like me and get sick after being around too many people)? And what about all that money spent on 'promotional material'? Some people make a real profit at these things, and yes there's the justification of making business contacts, meeting fans, and just getting a nice breath of comparatively fresh air, but make sure to pull up the balance sheet and figure out how much it's really worth it in the long run. For me, I don't go to a convention unless everything's paid for in advance or there are deliberate business contacts to be made (and I'm pitching something). Otherwise, I find it more cost-productive to be at home working on my books.

-Raw foods are cheapest. Prepared foods the most expensive. Buy only the necessities like bread, milk, eggs, and vegetables. If you can find a cheap used book on nutrition, you'll learn a lot about what's really healthy and what isn't. Keeping your energy up is imperative to being a productive Artiste. And you don't need five different brands of soap. If possible, rely on family for meals if you find yourself starving. Unfortunately, food stamps are only available to individuals making less than $9,500 a year. If you're a woman, you could just be pregnant the rest of your life and rely on WIC, but really. No matter how much the Republicans may think we gals enjoy popping out the babies just to stay on welfare, you'd just never get anything done on the important stuff: like comics. ;)

-You don't need cable.

-You don't need subscriptions (magazine, tv, or movie). In fact, they're a good way to start wracking up overdraft charges on your bank account.

-If you have a laptop, you don't need internet. That's why they made cafes (in my book, at least).

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Obviously, these aren't all 'musts' just suggestions from my own personal experience so far. So other people's experiences and opinions would be extremely appreciated. What's it been like for you since you started relying on nothing but your artistic/creative income? Any tips you'd like to share? Heaven only knows I at least would appreciate them, too. ;)
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Living on a creative income. [Mar. 27th, 2008|11:57 am]
[mood | still sick]

I figure while I'm sick here in bed, I might as well at least be productive. The world isn't spinning so much today, so at least I can focus on a screen without tilting over.

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One of the things I'm constantly having to think about in this profession as graphic novelist, illustrator, and writer, is money.

How do you make a living off of it?

Most people who are pursuing a creative endeavor will tell you that this is a competitive, back-breaking, seemingly-thankless profession, and that it isn't so much about how to make a living as how to get by. "Making it" depends entirely upon the style of living you wish to achieve. If you dream of private islands and corporate jets, then I'm sorry to break it to you, but your chances are about one in a couple hundred million. If you want to be able to buy a small house and raise a family, it's difficult but doable . . . with a lot of strategy and business acumen. And if you just want to be able to make the rent on your 1-bedroom apartment and put food on the table, then you might be alright.

For me, my ideal is $45,000 a year. I'm a simple kind of gal and extremely frugal. For me, that's enough to start saving up to buy a house or buy land and just build one (ideally, the latter . . . preferably towards Fredericksburgh), buy a fuel-efficient car (anybody got a Honda Insight for sale?), and start saving a bit.

Sorry though, kids. You'll have to rely on dad's income for college.

Yet currently, I only make about *$15,000 a year (the year before, it was $13,000). Currently, 60% of what I make goes to rent and utilities and about 12% to groceries. That leaves me with only $4,200 to take care of miscellaneous expenses, and let me tell you, that goes by fast.

Last year, both my desktop and my laptop broke, which forced me to buy a new computer. That alone was $1350. Since I consider a computer an investment in my work, I couldn't buy something cheap. It had to run all my programs, handle multiple tasks running at once, store gigs worth of art, and run fast enough to justify the cost. So already, I'm down to $2,800.

Then my bike got stolen (because I stupidly chained it outside for two days). Right there is another $500 I had to shell out because my bike is my main source of transportation, and a cheap one wouldn't last me a month. Considering I've had four bikes stolen at this point . . . I'm pretty paranoid about where I lock it up now. And now we're down to $2,300.

And then almost every day, I go to a cafe and buy a cup of coffee while I sit and work. That's $2 and we'll say 365 days because sometimes I don't go out but sometimes I buy more than just a cup, and that puts me at $730 a year for what I consider a rather necessary expense. Working at a busy cafe is my ideal working condition and I get tons more done than I do at home.

Down to $1570.

If you haven't figured it out by now, the money goes fast. And all this without any sort of entertainment or heaven help me should I get into an accident! (knock on wood) I shudder to think where I'd be if I still had a car and had to pay that $3 a gallon gas is currently at.

BUT . . . it's still just enough.

I have a roof over my head, food on the table, my necessary expenses taken care of, and the time to at least take a bike through the park. And the main thing? I've defeated the impulse buy.

Our whole lives, we're surrounded with consumerism. "Buy this! Buy that!" We're told how we "ought to" live rather than how we can live. You don't need that iphone or the chocolate bar in the candy isle. Occasionally, when I reach a work milestone, I'll treat myself to a dinner out or I'll buy a book for myself to read. But generally, when I'm feeling antsy, I call up my mom and go visit the sister and her chidluns, or I go to Ruhi on the weekends and talk to my friends, or I just take a walk and admire the change of seasons (what little we have in Texas, lol). "Splurging" for me means painting a wall or building a couple of bookshelves or buying a new pot and soil for my mango tree. But it doesn't happen very often. Typically, I'm just content to work.

And I take care of my things. What little I have is precious to me and expensive to replace, so I treat them as though I'm going to have them forever.

In the meantime, I supplement my graphic novel work with illustration work for larger companies who can pay more. I do my best to have enough on hand to pay my bills three months in advance (though this doesn't always work out given the finicky nature of payment in this industry). And I eat extremely healthy to keep from getting sick.

(damn this flu . . . but at least it isn't bad enough to need to see a doctor. That or I'm just stubborn)

And of course, I keep going because I hold on to the belief that I'm learning and getting better as I go along. I trust in my heart that there's room to make the ideal if not far, far more someday. That I just have to be persistent enough and aware enough of my own abilities to get there. When I get there, however, is just something I'll have to find out.


--------

*If I hadn't been working on "Jane's S.O.S." and had finished "Steady Beat 3" instead, it would have been more like $23,000. But then again, I'll get paid when I sell "Jane's" so it all works out in the end. Taking the pay cut enabled me to finish the novel when I might otherwise have not been able to. :) And not taking the Applied Materials gig wasn't even an option.
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flu . . . stomach . . . uck [Mar. 26th, 2008|01:09 pm]
[mood | sick]

*ugh* This is way more than stress-induced nausea. I think I picked up some sort of stomach flu/virus this weekend either at the Naw-Ruz party I went to (Baha'i new year) or the Easter party I unwittingly went to (Jesus Zombie Day as I like to call it). Been trying to call my mom for the past hour to see if she can bring me by some soup and crackers because I have nobody else who will and there's nothing in my cupboards that looks even marginally palatable at the moment.

Nobody's answering, so I'm going to stay here in bed and be sick and dizzy on my own. Just wish somebody would stop making the ground rock every time I stand up.

*crawls into a corner to be sick*


edit---------------------------------------------------------

I love my mommy. I call her to ask if she can bring me soup and crackers, and she goes and restocks my entire fridge. I feel loved. :)

But still sick.
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More on Writing and Editing [Mar. 24th, 2008|12:57 am]
[mood | productive . . . sort'a]

It just took me two whole days to figure out how to edit and restructure one page. It's funny how that works . . . sometimes the edits just slide smoothly by, ten pages here, another five there, and then suddenly, stuck! Wheels spinning, engine screaming, exhaust pouring out of the back, but no matter how much you hit the gas, the vehicle just won't budge.

The reason isn't so much perfectionism as reaching pivotal moments for the characters where one event blends into the next, and the transition needs to be smooth instead of jarring, otherwise you're just bumping the readers off the road and making them find their own way back again. Once somebody realizes that they're reading, then it's over. They questions the characters, their motives, the plot.

When I write, I believe that every character must have a motive and a personal agenda. Whether it's wanting a cup of water or desiring to take over the world. Even if the reader isn't aware what the motives are, they must have a sense that the characters are driven instead of floating aimlessly through life, led by the people around them. Otherwise, those characters are just accessories to the plot instead of real, living, breathing, thinking people.

And that was just the problem I'd run into the last two days: A major transition scene in the book where one character questions the other's motives, faltering in their trust and then back again. But how? The vehicle that puts this doubt in the character's head was already there on the page but it felt contrived. Was there a better way to create a more natural transition?

So finally, I came up with a solution. A solution I've used many times before, in fact, that seems to work, and perhaps the simplest most elegant solution of all: I found items from earlier in the book that had been mentioned--objects, conversations, and actions--and used them instead to arouse the character's suspicions. These are then ideas and objects that the reader is already familiar with, so that instead of introducing something new--like those annoying speed bumps in the road that you never see until you're halfway upon them--I stuck with things I already had. Then suddenly, the transition became more like a curve in the road you'd been warned about half a mile before, possibly even anticipating and then satisfied to have finally passed.

Best of all, this means I'll have fewer changes to make later on and NO changes to make earlier in the book. :) Well. Except one sentence.

*goes back to editing*
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The pain! Oh, the pain! [Mar. 22nd, 2008|12:12 am]
[mood | tears of frustration]
[music |Radiohead - "How to Disappear Completely"]

If I could bash my head out against this keyboard and expect it to put me out of my misery instead of possibly inflicting more pain than I am in already, I would. I swear . . . I've been working on my Jane's S.O.S. final edit day in and day out. I eat, sleep, and breathe this book, I mean it. I wake up with my laptop beside my head. All my thoughts, my dreams, my very world revolve around it because I want it done and shipped to a publisher (and finish "Steady Beat" already, too).

How is it that something that only took me three (seemingly) breezy months to write is giving me so much misery in the edits? I mean . . . it isn't even like I'm being a perfectionist on this. I was reading the original version I wrote compared to its current incarnation and the evolution and improvement blow me away. I'm actually happy with how it's turning out, but that also means painstaking amounts of time devoured trying to put exactly on the page what's in my head, going back and double checking for smoothness of speech (I read a lot of parts aloud now to make sure it sounds right as well as reads well) and ANY time I change even a tiny plot point, I have to go back and search out through the entire book all the places it might effect and change those accordingly.

There's been this stabbing headache in the back of my head that fades on and off again for the past week. I've hardly eaten. I subsist on caffeine and oatmeal raisin powerbars and tons and tons of grapefruit because if I get sick now, then I might as well just keel over and die.

*gives in and hits head on keyboard* (it typed a 'b' by the way . . . how anticlimatic is that?)

*screams*

*runs off into the hills where I can finish these edits without any human contact or distractions*

However.

However, I am still head-over-heels in love with this book. Strange that. I thought I might eventually end up hating it after all the misery it's given me, and yet my love and passion for it only grows stronger. It's like having a very petulant child whom you know is talented and gifted and bright but needs to be poked and prodded every time you need them to go clean their room. It just glares at you and stomps off in a huff.

And yeah, I know. Eventually I'll tell people what all this is about.
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Pi [Mar. 14th, 2008|10:19 am]
It's Pi Day! Let us celebrate! But what shall it be? Key Lime or Apple?

"Pi also works in deadlines for projects: take your estimated target deadline period, multiply it by pi, and you end up with the time you will need to actually finish the project."
-Erik, Leuven, Belgium

Oh so true, dear Erik of Belgium. I believe I shall have to use this method of estimation for future projects.
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Tokyopop "OEL" Finales [Mar. 4th, 2008|12:14 pm]
Johanna over at Comics Worth Reading has written an essay about whether or not the first group of "OEL" series from Tokyopop that have come to an end were able to create a satisfying ending.

"I’ve been thinking lately, as Tokyopop’s OEL series come to their ends, about whether these young creators have been given the help and support they need. Tokyopop claims shared copyrights on these works, for which one presumes they had some input into them. (The suspicious say that it’s just a way to manipulate creators unaware of their business choices and take more profit and control from them.) However, judging solely by the way I’ve found the final series volumes severely disappointing, the editors aren’t providing the guidance or story feedback that would help create satisfying resolutions."

I have many of my own thoughts on this subject, the main course being that the importance of a good editor who is given the time to edit his or her books is part of the most important business of a publisher. I state this because, like Johanna pointed out, my first two books received practically no editorial oversight. Except for grammatical corrections, throwing out three pages of dialog in the final book (I believe, accidentally), and forgetting to drop in balloons in an entire chapter (which is why I draw in dialog balloons with the art, now), the scripts for "Steady Beat" books 1 and 2 were sent back to me unedited. The art received no feedback whatsoever. The only reason I believe the writing improved from the first volume to the second was because I realized with the second book, I was going to have to edit it myself and therefore spent more time going over the dialog after it was completed (before sending it in for approval), but I still felt a lack of confidence in the quality of either when they were published.

However, with the third book, I've changed editors to someone I feel has been far more confident and active in the editing of this book. Lillian has been a phenomenal editor, for all that I can tell she's overworked. While the script for "Steady Beat" 3 didn't go through any major overhauls (thanks to Svet sending me some awesome writing links and my writing a freakin' 90,000 word novel alongside, which has given me PLENTY of practice), she gave me a thorough edit of the first two books, glossing over the issues she believed I already knew, and focusing on those things she believed I still had so much room to improve upon.

And most important of all: she told me what she believed I was doing right.

I cannot stress the importance of letting a writer or an artist know what she or he is doing oh so right in their work. The reason being that, for me, it instilled a confidence in myself that I didn't have working on the first two books. While yes, this last book has gone slower than the first two (mainly due to my moving out on my own and having to pick up a managerie of jobs to support myself at the same time), I feel it has also gone smoother. I don't spend time angsting over whether or not to change a scene or erasing and redrawing panels and pages at a time. Being told, "this looks good, keep doing it," assures that I will.

While there will always be editorial and opinion differences between creator and editor, I believe that the outside view of someone who makes the study of writing and art for a living is an invaluable tool that the publisher has to offer the creator. When I ran my own publishing company, I felt that my business partner and the head editor of our company, David Baker, was the greatest asset we possessed. He's the one who taught me how to write with a voice, when to use "show not tell" and when not to, how saying less is saying more, and what a really good piece of writing feels like . . . and why. And when a company fails to offer their writers and artists editorial feedback (without micromanaging every letter), then they are seriously overlooking the potential of making what is good into the truly great, of saying, "This writing is beautiful, but this is how we believe it can be beautiful AND sell well, reaching the kind of audience it deserves."

As for the rest of the article, I'll have to keep my opinions off the blog for now, because I believe there's a lot of experimenting and figuring out what "works" right now for so many of my fellow creators--and myself, as well.

However, I am, personally, a stickler for the ending. For me, it's the beginning and the end that get imagined and written first. The ending for "Steady Beat" had been in my head since day one. I believe the ending should be satisfying, and to a certain degree, anticipated. The reader should feel like this was a meal that leaves you feeling neither stuffed and overloaded to the point of illness or slight to the point of dissatisfaction. And mixing in weird flavors at the end--such as liver pie when you were expecting pecan--can throw off the reader. The beginning, middle, and end, are a fine balance of flavors and tastes, each that complement the other.

And maybe that's why I HAVE spent so long getting this book done (other than having other projects, obviously). Because I feel it's the most important, and where I feel my writing lacks, I've struggled to improve. I only pray, that it's a successful ending and that the extra effort and hard work have been worth it.

Well, we'll see. I can't make any promises, though. I can only ever try and continue doing my best.
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Daily Routines - Warm up on the Blog [Feb. 28th, 2008|12:33 pm]
[info]scary_kittie asks: "I'd love to know what your daily routines are...or your work routines."


I am a creature of habit. Pretty much, every day, I wake up at the same time: 9:30 am sharp. My poor little eyes open to the morning light coming through my bedroom window and stare at the clock, wondering what the hell I'm doing up so early. I thought artists weren't supposed to get up before noon!

Hair a mess, breath as foul as two-week old leftovers, and my kitty Katchoo complaining that I haven't fed her, I do all that usual morning routine stuff: brush hair, brush teeth, feed the cat, get dressed, and pull out the drill and get about a half hour's worth of work done around the house. Maybe it's working on the bookshelves. Washing the dishes. Or scrubbing the tub. Whatever it is, it gets me up and gets things done at the same time. Projects in my house get done slowly but consistently and the place is pretty much perpetually neat.

And then I do the same thing I do every day: eat a bowl of cereal with wheat germ sprinkled on top and nibble on an oatmeal and raisin powerbar (mmm . . . B vitamins), hop on my bike, and head to whatever café I feel in the mood for that day. Or, considering many of them are outdoors, whatever the weather permits. I'm rather loath to biking five miles in the rain just to get to Austin Java, but on a beautiful day, it's a wonderful and relaxing ride that goes a long way in clearing my mind.

If there are better places to write and draw and get creative work done than a café, then I have yet to stumble across them. As J.K.Rowling so perfectly puts it:

"It is no secret that the best place to write, in my opinion, is a café; you don't have to make your own coffee, you don't feel that you are in solitary confinement while you work and when inspiration fails, you can take a walk to the next café while your batteries re-charge. In my opinion, the best writing café is just crowded enough so that you blend in, but not so crowded that you end up sharing a table with somebody who tries to read chapter twenty upside down, has staff who don't glower at you if you sit there too long [. . .] and doesn't play very loud music, which is the only noise that disturbs me when I'm writing."

Except that, occasionally, I do enjoy the random conversations that pop up with nosy yet friendly strangers. In place of the nicotine rush I know so many of my fellow creatives pursue in order to take a break from the creative process and let their minds regurgitate and reorganize all the information they've just passed through their brain and on to the paper, I prefer the jolt of awkward conversation and the fascination of other people's lives to take my mind away from the task at hand. But in general, I mainly just sit and work until my stomach tells me it's time for food again. Then I wander off to find a snack and either either return to the same café or go prowling for a new one. Just so that I don't seem like a jobless surfer who hangs around coffee shops all day. ;)

Also, the staff start to get nosy after a while, and I start to feel guilty about not being able to afford to tip every time I go up for a refill. THAT would be the downside to coffee shops. ;_;

Finally, after a normal day's worth of either writing or drawing or both, and an alarming lack of energy because I haven't had a decent meal in at least eight hours, I hop my bike on the bus and head home for dinner, some more work on the bookshelves or desk or tub or whatever, and a little light reading. I'm a huge fan of children's and YA novels and typically read one a night. An addiction that's beginning to take over my apartment. -_-; Hence . . . more bookshelves. >_>;

Then I shower, wash, rinse, head to bed, and repeat.

Lol. So in general, I've a rather unextraordinary life. Be it rain or shine, weekday or weekend, I do pretty much the same thing every day, with the exception of visits with my mother to see the big sis, little twin nieces, and the growing baby nephew or going out with friends who insist upon dragging me out of the house and making me do things.

But really, I'm a workaholic. Give me a day without at least some chiseling away at the books, and you'll have an antsy, jittery, short-tempered Rivkah on your hands. I'd far rather spend my entire day in front of the page than watching television or movies or going out to clubs or bars or socializing at parties. It's both enervating and relaxing for me, and I don't feel wholly myself without having put pen to paper at least once in the day. And I feel even better the longer I do it. In my brain, it's a rush of serotonin and endorphins to the left prefrontal cortex. It's my daily fix. Writing is my addiction; I simply couldn't function or feel good about myself without it.

And to me, the less "excess" in my life, the better. I like my day to be simple because it leaves me free to focus and not be distracted from the creative task at hand. I don't get how anybody can concentrate with the motley of gadgets and toys and appliances and stuff that's put out there to distract us from our own thinking. I make a conscious effort to avoid clutter not only in my apartment and the settings around me, but also mental clutter as well. I meditate daily and eat consciously (ie: I try to be aware of what I put in my body and how much and how it affects me). I spend a good portion of my mornings and evenings just sitting on the porch, watching the street below my door, simply relaxing and living in the moment.

Neither do I allow myself to be completely burdened by work. There's a certain amount of stress that I relish--the adrenaline rush of a deadline, the hectic scurry of turning in last-minute pages. But if the stress is enough to turn my hair gray, then that means it's moved beyond its limit. And I've had it happen! My first two little white hairs came in after the deadline for Steady Beat volume 2. And I'm sure I'm due a few more after the project for Applied Materials. *lol*

In all, I sincerely believe I am at my most creative, in fact, when I am most at peace with myself. There are many things I still yet wish to achieve, but I've discovered enough happiness and peace with myself to let go of the energy I once wasted in grasping and directing it towards focusing only on the little steps. Because if I can't be happy with where I am right now, then I could possibly never be happy.

And I am very, very happy. Every day, the wind in my hair, the sun burning the tip of my nose, the feel of the asphalt beneath my wheels, I also pray, and I don't ask for anything. I just run down through the list of things I am grateful for. Simple things that we so often take for granted. And my greatest pleasure in life at this moment is that I'm at a point where I can afford the roof over my head and the food on the table without fear. That is my greatest comfort.

Life is good. :)
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As the world goes round [Feb. 27th, 2008|02:09 pm]
Jeez, it's been a long time since my last real update, hasn't it? I'm at one of the many Austin Java's right now, contemplating the crowd. It's a very California Beautiful People type of crowd; downtown where all the misplaced West Coasters congregate during the day. Friendly people, but not very sociable, unfortunately. I'm used to places more north-central where all the college students, professors, and random Austin hippies hang out. It's fascinating how groups and personalities collect in all the different coffee houses in this town.

However, they have a bottomless cup of coffee, even if it's three bucks, and that's okay on my list. But really . . . what's with all the pretty people?

I've been migrating all my data from my desktop and old laptop to the shiny, new, working laptop, and ran across a bunch of old photos and illustrations, and for some reason it got me thinking, "Dang. I was an arrogant little girl, wasn't I?" Sometimes I feel a little chagrined at the boastful claims and assumptions I used to make. Based, yes, on my own experiences, but experiences that were limited. It never ceases to amaze me how much a person can grow and change over the course of a few measly years. I feel calmer, more insightful, and thankfully, far more skilled in the areas I've chosen for my career: art, writing, storytelling, pacing, dialog. You name it.

But then again . . .

Here I am, working on cleaning up book 1 of "Jane's S.O.S." and getting it into its final form before pitched into the melee of the publishing arena. I've hardly talked about it or what it's about to anybody. Only one person has read the first five pages of the first chapter (though a couple publishers have the old, original thirty pages which have been almost completely rewritten). I don't even mention really to anybody my hopes for it.

And the same goes for book 3 of "Steady Beat". I'm excited at the prospect of finally getting to all the parts I anticipated most, but I've hesitated to talk to much about how I feel I've improved. It's the first time I've been truly happy with my work. And yet, for some reason, that makes me even more reluctant to talk about it.

Perhaps it is that I've developed the belief that it's best to talk about things already completed rather than in things hoped for or in progress. It isn't that I don't have hopes and dreams for the works I create or that I don't believe in them (quite the opposite, really), but I feel almost . . . that in talking too much about them, I take away some of the energy that can be dedicated towards creating them. As though I sit and twitch and twiddle my thumbs in agitation, and that instead of resorting to the immediate outlet of telling somebody about it, I put it into continuing the work.

And of course, there's also the part of me that fears my new-found confidence may be nothing more than a delusion, and that I'd far rather not figure that out until my current works are complete so that I don't slow down out of fear of my own ability to tell the story. But eventually, that 90,000 word novel and what's turning out to be a 220-250 page graphic novel will make it out there, and I'll talk all about how I felt making them all I want.

It has been . . . one heck of a trip, these past thirteen months.

However, I still enjoy writing in this journal and apparently there are plenty of people who seem to enjoy reading my random thoughts, and so, since I now have a reliable (knock on wood) computer and somewhat reliable (bites tongue) internet connection, I was wondering topics people might like to see me write about or even just questions about past work and experiences? There are still quite a few essays left to be written in the neglected annals of this journal. It'd be nice to wipe off a bit of the dust until such a time as I actually complete these current works and have something more of value to say about the creative process itself. Or at least, let's acknowledge that this is just about my creative process. Everybody's a little different, don't you think? :)

Now, off to work!

-Rivkah
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New Computer! Woot! Woot! [Feb. 19th, 2008|12:51 pm]
NEW LAPTOP! YEAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's tiny. It's light. It's fast. It's an IBM. It has an eraser mouse. Now to install software and get rid of all the excess cr*p that Windows likes to package with their OS. Thankfully, I got Win XP Pro instead of Vista, so I know where everything is and how to handle it. The only downside I can see so far is that the back space button is far too small. That is all.

*happy dances around the room*

And I'm debating whether or not to use Mozilla Thunderbird as my new email client. I want something that looks like Outlook but doesn't act like it (ie, all the organizational capability without putting all emails into one giant file). I've heard nothing but good things from the people who use it.
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